Small me.

I always thought that I was strong, unfortunately I was not

I am the most sensitive person I've ever known

I get annoyed easily

I get irritated immediately

I get angry always

I feel sad every time

I thought I was strong, unfortunately I was not

I used to hold my feelings

Keep them deep in the bottom of my heart

Shut my mouth tightly

I usually said nothing when people scold, irritate or make me sad

I thought I was strong, unfortunately I was not

I am sorry

I have a low threshold level

I have a very minimal limit

I thought I was strong, unfortunately I was not

I tried to be positive

I tried to rationalize every single bad thing happened to me

I failed to do so

I thought I was strong, unfortunately I was not

Be strong, dear self!

ALL IS WELL

I cant stop thinking. How can I improvise myself to be a better me? Well, I know really well that living in this worldly life, everything is a test. A test that if I took it positively, I could be better and vice versa. It is easily understandable, however not easily practiced. What I mean is, we I rarely see the wisdom behinds it. 

"All is well. All is well. All is well. Kulluhu kheir. Kulluhu kheir. Kulluhu kheir."

My mouth never stopped reciting that mantra. I wanted to believe everything is gonna be okay. I got everything that I need. But, the thing I need the most is You. I need the tranquility in loving You most. I want to be the best worshipper of Yours in my own best form. I want to be accepted by You and be with Your messenger in Jannatul Firdausi. I'm hoping too high. Too ambitious despite of my lacking effort. Shame on you, Nor!

I got a lot more things in the future that I wanted to achieve in this so called wordly life. I want to achieve all of them in accordance of Your blessings and mercy.